truly, truly hideous

Coming soon: pictures of projects made with extremely garish yarn. (The story of the garish yarn is good, but I'm kind of occupied with the Royals completely blowing this road trip out at Coors Field.) But the reason I'm posting tonight? I was looking around online for a quick baby project, and thought a hat might be just the thing.

I was wrong.

People? People with time to spend posting complex knitting patterns? People who are kind enough to put this stuff on the web? Listen to me, I am speaking to you. Listen carefully. Are you ready?

Babies look completely idiotic with their heads inserted into a piece of fruit made of yarn.
Babies look completely idiotic with their heads camouflaged as animals.
Babies look completely idiotic dressed as vegetables.

Carry on.

welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends

Another day, another attempt at maintaining a blog. Here, you shall hear of the trials and tribulations of being the only one in my circle of friends who avidly knits, and the projects in which I am constantly drowning. With any luck at all, I will post pictures and explain all the things I have done wrong. Rules of the road: say nothing disparaging of Elizabeth Zimmermann. Say nothing complimentary about the abomination that is the designated hitter position in the American League. Be prepared for a quiz on the Major League Baseball Infield Fly Rule (March-October). Be prepared for a quiz on Offsides and Delayed Penalty (September-May). Expect chronicles of coveting yarn. In the summer, expect lots of things about hats, because they can be completed quickly and take up little lap space. In the fall and winter, expect griping about fine-gauge sweaters and the eternity taken up by Saxon Braiding. In the spring, expect grousing about making new socks for the size 15-shoe-wearing husband after the agony of a winter smack in the middle of the Great Plains, and the colossal tedium of 2 x 2 ribbing.
There will also be discussion of MacGyvering impromptu stitch markers, baking, chandlery, sewing, cooking, reading, gardening, water conservation, beekeeping and other components of the post-apocalyptic skill set. Occasional paeans to the glory of butter are to be expected, particularly in the baking portion of our broadcast day. It is a virtual guarantee that in discussions of the quotidian, the wonderfulness of dogs will be invoked.